Here's to the straight paths.

We never know what a year will bring, do we? I tend to think of myself as generally optimistic, but sometimes life throws you some lemons. And you can make all the jokes you want about throwing the lemons back and demanding chocolate . . . some days you don't have the strength for that.

This last year I had had some good sized lemons tossed in my lap, and it was hard not to ask why. Why God, why? Seriously? This is how things are going to be? This is in my story now?
I know that why can be a dangerous question to ask, especially when you're thinking with your emotions. But sometimes I couldn't help but ask anyway.

One particularly hard, teary night, I asked why and flipped through my Bible. I was not looking for answers really. Just comfort. Just something to soothe the ache. And I found this:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones. (Proverbs 3:5-8 NIV)

I think it was the words "health" and "nourishment" that stopped me first. I wanted healing in my soul more than anything else in that moment. So I read it again.

All the whys I'd been asking . . . that was me trying to lean on my own understanding, wasn't it? I wanted an answer, something to understand, a reason for why things happen the way they do. That way, I could make sure it would never happen again. I wanted to never hurt like this again.

If I found an answer, I would be wise in my own eyes, but it would not bring the healing that I wanted. Only fearing the Lord can do that. Only trusting HIM. My own understanding wouldn't hold me up.

I read it over and over, trying to lock those words with their new meaning into my heart. You know what else I found? God doesn't promise us straight paths in this verse. He doesn't say, "Trust me and all your paths will be straight." He says when we acknowledge him, He will take the make our paths straight. He will take the crooked, bumpy path we're on, and make it straight.

Amen and amen.

Image

I love it when people tell me that one of my daughters looks like me.

When Natalie was born, we thought she bore a strong resemblance to Jason, and most people agreed. His nose, his eyes, his forehead, his ears. I didn't mind. I (obviously) find Jason extremely attractive. So when Jason's step-mom asked me if I minded that Natalie looked so much like him, I said, "How can I when she's so cute?"
Now that Natalie's five, I get a lot more comments about her looking like me. At first, I didn't believe them. I thought, "That's strange. Must be the glasses. Because she's always looked like Jason." But I've gotten so many comments now, and I've come to realize I like it.

Now Elsie -- she has golden blonde hair, blue eyes . . . so different from my dark hair and eyes. But she looks like my sister, which means she must get her looks from me, right?

When Jason and I were in the hospital, and Maureen was just a day old, he looked at her and said, "You know, I think she's gonna look like you. Something about her . . . I don't know, I just think that she's going to end up looking like you -- more so than the other girls." And boy, you know I've latched on to that. I looked at her today, finding all the things about her that she may have gotten from me. I was so proud.

It's funny. I didn't like my looks for a long time when I was growing up. But now I'm wishing them on all of my girls. I think it's a natural desire in parents, to have a little someone that looks like them. Maybe it's because we're all created in Someone Else's image to begin with.

Reasons I love having little girls.

1. They can sing "Sisters" from White Christmas.

2. Friends for life. A sales clerk saw me in the store with the girls the other day and she said that she has three daughters and she tells them, "I've given you automatic friends." Indeed.

3. Ponytails and braids.

4. Mermaids and fairies.

5. Tiaras and make-up.

6. Unicorns and glitter (!)

7. Watching small girls carry your purse around is too fun.

8. Playing house with babies.

9. Tea parties.

10. Every Sunday is like playing dress up with my three favorite dolls.

If you have girls, what are some of your favorite things? If you have boys, I'd love to hear the list you're keeping, too!