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Friday, August 19, 2011
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Lessons from the Flower Patch
We worked in our yard this morning, so I don't need to tell you that I feel tired right now. We've taken on a lot this year. Last summer I was pregnant, so we didn't do much besides baby the grass in our front lawn. This year we've seeded grass on one side of the house and in the back, planted a large vegetable garden on the other side, and put a flower patch in the front for the girls.
Jason worked on the vegetable garden while I weeded the flower patch. I gotta tell you, I was irritated at some points. But I was also laughing at myself, because I kept thinking of the Parable of the Sower. (Matthew 13:1-23)
Earlier in the spring, when we seeded our back yard, we were so hopeful. We imagined a lush, Ireland-esque carpet of grass for our children to run through on their way to the swing set. But, by golly, we kept seeing birds on our seeded dirt, and we knew that was no good. Our dirt-y backyard (because it is still largely dirt) grew weeds, with strands of grass here and there. Birds: Don't think they won't come to try and steal your seed.
There I was in the flower patch. I knew I needed to weed it a few weeks ago, but we'd been busy and it's been raining. What a mess it was. And then, I have this problem. I don't actually know what I'm doing when it comes to gardening. My mother is Mrs. Green Thumbs herself and I guess I've always hoped that I would inherit the "Gift of Grow" by living in a home that at times was disguised as a jungle of African violets. I sat there looking at my little garden, and I wasn't completely sure which plants were unbloomed flowers and which were weeds. I mean, some were obviously weeds, but then there were some . . .
For example: Little plants with small, round leaves -- friend or foe?
I had another problem. I planted the garden using a packaged seed mix. There were a least half a dozen types of flowers in that bag. I'm assuming this means that all the flowers will look different as they start to grow, so now really -- how am I supposed to tell a weed from a flower?
I guess if you don't have a clearly defined goal, it's hard to know if you're bearing the right fruit.
There are some decorative logs that separate the garden plot from our front lawn. The lawn we watched and babied last summer. The lawn I made sure to water at the beginning of the day before the hot sun could kill it. The lawn I slipped on and fell flat on my rear while I was seven months pregnant because I was moving the sprinkler from one wet side of the yard to the dry side. Our beautiful lawn. But the grass is doing so well in front that it's trying to spread between the logs and into our flower garden. Those roots were deep! It was a lot of work to dig them out. A beautiful thing growing in the wrong place doesn't help anyone.
Then there were the rocks. The plot where we planted our flowers used to be rocked. But most of the rocks were gone, so we didn't think much of starting a garden there. Until Jason tilled the soil. Up from the ground came rocks and more rocks, hidden by eroded sand and dirt. I wanted to stop and pick them all out, but Jason pointed out that we only had a limited amount of time. If we didn't plant the seeds that night, it probably wasn't going to happen in the next few busy weeks. After that it might be too late. So we decided to plant and see what came up. Today while I dug out weeds, I threw out rocks. So many rocks. It may not be fun, but sooner or later you have to deal with the rocks.
But every once in a while I would glance up at the side of the yard. We seeded it with grass, tried to water it dutifully, and lo -- there is grass. It's not Ireland, but there is a lot of good, pretty little grass on that side. And it's comforting. When a seed produces like it's meant to, it's so satisfying.
Seriously though, does anyone know about those little, round leaves?
Jason worked on the vegetable garden while I weeded the flower patch. I gotta tell you, I was irritated at some points. But I was also laughing at myself, because I kept thinking of the Parable of the Sower. (Matthew 13:1-23)
Earlier in the spring, when we seeded our back yard, we were so hopeful. We imagined a lush, Ireland-esque carpet of grass for our children to run through on their way to the swing set. But, by golly, we kept seeing birds on our seeded dirt, and we knew that was no good. Our dirt-y backyard (because it is still largely dirt) grew weeds, with strands of grass here and there. Birds: Don't think they won't come to try and steal your seed.
There I was in the flower patch. I knew I needed to weed it a few weeks ago, but we'd been busy and it's been raining. What a mess it was. And then, I have this problem. I don't actually know what I'm doing when it comes to gardening. My mother is Mrs. Green Thumbs herself and I guess I've always hoped that I would inherit the "Gift of Grow" by living in a home that at times was disguised as a jungle of African violets. I sat there looking at my little garden, and I wasn't completely sure which plants were unbloomed flowers and which were weeds. I mean, some were obviously weeds, but then there were some . . .
For example: Little plants with small, round leaves -- friend or foe?
I had another problem. I planted the garden using a packaged seed mix. There were a least half a dozen types of flowers in that bag. I'm assuming this means that all the flowers will look different as they start to grow, so now really -- how am I supposed to tell a weed from a flower?
I guess if you don't have a clearly defined goal, it's hard to know if you're bearing the right fruit.
There are some decorative logs that separate the garden plot from our front lawn. The lawn we watched and babied last summer. The lawn I made sure to water at the beginning of the day before the hot sun could kill it. The lawn I slipped on and fell flat on my rear while I was seven months pregnant because I was moving the sprinkler from one wet side of the yard to the dry side. Our beautiful lawn. But the grass is doing so well in front that it's trying to spread between the logs and into our flower garden. Those roots were deep! It was a lot of work to dig them out. A beautiful thing growing in the wrong place doesn't help anyone.
Then there were the rocks. The plot where we planted our flowers used to be rocked. But most of the rocks were gone, so we didn't think much of starting a garden there. Until Jason tilled the soil. Up from the ground came rocks and more rocks, hidden by eroded sand and dirt. I wanted to stop and pick them all out, but Jason pointed out that we only had a limited amount of time. If we didn't plant the seeds that night, it probably wasn't going to happen in the next few busy weeks. After that it might be too late. So we decided to plant and see what came up. Today while I dug out weeds, I threw out rocks. So many rocks. It may not be fun, but sooner or later you have to deal with the rocks.
But every once in a while I would glance up at the side of the yard. We seeded it with grass, tried to water it dutifully, and lo -- there is grass. It's not Ireland, but there is a lot of good, pretty little grass on that side. And it's comforting. When a seed produces like it's meant to, it's so satisfying.
Seriously though, does anyone know about those little, round leaves?
Saturday, June 11, 2011
For my Mother-in-law, who says I've obviously been busy lately. :)
You know the problem with getting out of synch with regular blogging? Writing that next post. I have lots of ideas, but not all of them want to come out just yet. I know that the next post is not usually my favorite, so I don't want to "waste" any good ideas if I'm not going to write them well. But I just need to get going again. I thought about giving a theme to certain days. I have a friend who does Mundane Mondays, and another who does the Tuesday Ten, and yet another who does Friday Flibbertijibbits. I thought, "Weirded-Out Wednesdays? Thesaurus Thursdays? Sappy Saturdays?" Yeah. I thought it was ridiculous, too.
So here it is. My regular ol', one time "Getting back into the Groove" post.
There have been a few things I've enjoyed lately that I wanted to share.
1. My Monday night life group. We're watching DVDs based on the book "Culture of Honor" by Danny Silk. And they are changing my life. The first night I pulled one point out of his message and chewed, and chewed, and chewed it to bits. I will never be the same after realizing I had this lie buried inside me. Maybe that will be in a future post. :)
2. Heaven is for Real. You've probably seen this book in Wal-Mart. My friend, Lisa, loaned me her copy. She did this because a.) she is a giver, and b.) she knows I have a need to read good books, and she helps me out with that whenever she can. It's a quality I love about her!
I think this book is lovely. I don't want to give anything away, because I want you to read it for yourself. All I will say, is that after reading this book I think, "Why on earth do we hold onto life so hard? Shouldn't we all have a death wish so we can hurry up and get to heaven?" Ok, that's a little exaggerated. A little. I know why I love my life, and I'm sure you love yours. Truly. But heaven sounds so, so good to me now. And this book left me walking around the house singing to my girls, "Heaven is a wonderful place! (I wanna go there!)"
3. Sandra Boynton and Mo Willems. Have I ever mentioned how much I love children's books? These are two of my favorite kids' authors. She writes board books like this one and this one, and he writes the Elephant & Piggie books which I love and tell EVERYONE about. We have several books in our homes with these two names on the front.
4. This cd. (Oh, come on! You know I had to go there!)
What have you been enjoying lately?
So here it is. My regular ol', one time "Getting back into the Groove" post.
There have been a few things I've enjoyed lately that I wanted to share.
1. My Monday night life group. We're watching DVDs based on the book "Culture of Honor" by Danny Silk. And they are changing my life. The first night I pulled one point out of his message and chewed, and chewed, and chewed it to bits. I will never be the same after realizing I had this lie buried inside me. Maybe that will be in a future post. :)
2. Heaven is for Real. You've probably seen this book in Wal-Mart. My friend, Lisa, loaned me her copy. She did this because a.) she is a giver, and b.) she knows I have a need to read good books, and she helps me out with that whenever she can. It's a quality I love about her!
I think this book is lovely. I don't want to give anything away, because I want you to read it for yourself. All I will say, is that after reading this book I think, "Why on earth do we hold onto life so hard? Shouldn't we all have a death wish so we can hurry up and get to heaven?" Ok, that's a little exaggerated. A little. I know why I love my life, and I'm sure you love yours. Truly. But heaven sounds so, so good to me now. And this book left me walking around the house singing to my girls, "Heaven is a wonderful place! (I wanna go there!)"
3. Sandra Boynton and Mo Willems. Have I ever mentioned how much I love children's books? These are two of my favorite kids' authors. She writes board books like this one and this one, and he writes the Elephant & Piggie books which I love and tell EVERYONE about. We have several books in our homes with these two names on the front.
4. This cd. (Oh, come on! You know I had to go there!)
What have you been enjoying lately?
Monday, May 16, 2011
Tips for a better (post baby) life.
Maureen is seven months old today, but I still consider myself a new mommy (again). I've learned out some things about myself this time that I didn't know before, or had forgotten. I decided to post them for any of my new mommy friends out there, but also for myself. I figured that if I wrote them all down in one place, I'd have a better chance of keeping them fresh in my mind for easy reference.
1. Eat protein. This has become kind of a big one for me lately. If I don't snack regularly, or don't eat protein, I can feel my blood sugar drop. I get shaky, weak, tired, and if I run for too much longer like that, I'm like a car trying to run without gasoline. Once I do eat, my body is still toast for a few hours. So I try to eat at regular times, or eat early if I know I'm going to be out somewhere during snack time.
2. It's still okay to sleep. My friend Charity posted about getting up before her kids and how being ready for the day helped her mood. I totally agree, and at the time I also had been trying to wake up at 6 every morning to get ready before my girls got up. But my routine hit a big snag. When Maureen started sleeping through the night, my big girls started waking up. At first it was just sickness, or waking up and not being able to put themselves back to sleep. But now Elsie wakes up almost every night to use the bathroom. And while I'm grateful that she's using the toilet . . . you get the idea. It's a little rough. And it's been seven months. I don't even set my alarm anymore, except on Sundays. And sometimes I still nap in the afternoon. And for right now, I'm cool with that.
3. Remember how some days you just can't take yourself too seriously? Well, some days you just can't take yourself too seriously. Dude. There's still a lot of hormones going on in there.
4. Friends . . . are your friends. Lack of sleep, hormones, and other random variables all can all add up to bogged down thinking for me. And being with friends is like opening up a window in a stuffy room. Laughing, hearing different perspectives, getting outside my own little bubble -- all these things help me a lot even if we still have all our children with us when we get together.
5. And sometimes it's okay to be by yourself, too. I'm a stay-at-home mom, so that last one about friends is key for me, but alone time is good too. It's not always easy, and it's not always feasible to have a large chunk of time (especially when the babies are tiny) but I think every little bit helps. A trip to the library where you pick from the big people section, a quick run to the store without unloading car seats, a trip to your favorite ice cream shoppe. On really hard days I lock the doors when I go to the bathroom. And sometimes those few minutes make all the difference.
Anything I forgot? I'd love to hear your advice!
1. Eat protein. This has become kind of a big one for me lately. If I don't snack regularly, or don't eat protein, I can feel my blood sugar drop. I get shaky, weak, tired, and if I run for too much longer like that, I'm like a car trying to run without gasoline. Once I do eat, my body is still toast for a few hours. So I try to eat at regular times, or eat early if I know I'm going to be out somewhere during snack time.
2. It's still okay to sleep. My friend Charity posted about getting up before her kids and how being ready for the day helped her mood. I totally agree, and at the time I also had been trying to wake up at 6 every morning to get ready before my girls got up. But my routine hit a big snag. When Maureen started sleeping through the night, my big girls started waking up. At first it was just sickness, or waking up and not being able to put themselves back to sleep. But now Elsie wakes up almost every night to use the bathroom. And while I'm grateful that she's using the toilet . . . you get the idea. It's a little rough. And it's been seven months. I don't even set my alarm anymore, except on Sundays. And sometimes I still nap in the afternoon. And for right now, I'm cool with that.
3. Remember how some days you just can't take yourself too seriously? Well, some days you just can't take yourself too seriously. Dude. There's still a lot of hormones going on in there.
4. Friends . . . are your friends. Lack of sleep, hormones, and other random variables all can all add up to bogged down thinking for me. And being with friends is like opening up a window in a stuffy room. Laughing, hearing different perspectives, getting outside my own little bubble -- all these things help me a lot even if we still have all our children with us when we get together.
5. And sometimes it's okay to be by yourself, too. I'm a stay-at-home mom, so that last one about friends is key for me, but alone time is good too. It's not always easy, and it's not always feasible to have a large chunk of time (especially when the babies are tiny) but I think every little bit helps. A trip to the library where you pick from the big people section, a quick run to the store without unloading car seats, a trip to your favorite ice cream shoppe. On really hard days I lock the doors when I go to the bathroom. And sometimes those few minutes make all the difference.
Anything I forgot? I'd love to hear your advice!
Friday, April 29, 2011
Day Five
Hurray for us! I wish I could throw us all a big party to celebrate! Truly, you guys are all awesome.
Here's my song 5:
Til I Know
Lord You said nothing could separate me from
Your passionate tender heart, the kindness of Your love
And I long to search for You
How I long to search for You
Chorus:
I wanna know again the fountain of Your blood that washes me
Wanna dream in the freedom of Your truth
I wanna see You wave Your banner over me, whose name is love
Til I know
Bridge:
Wanna know how high
Wanna know how deep
Wanna know how rich
Wanna know how sweet
Your love
Jesus, Your love
Here's my song 5:
Til I Know
Lord You said nothing could separate me from
Your passionate tender heart, the kindness of Your love
And I long to search for You
How I long to search for You
Chorus:
I wanna know again the fountain of Your blood that washes me
Wanna dream in the freedom of Your truth
I wanna see You wave Your banner over me, whose name is love
Til I know
Bridge:
Wanna know how high
Wanna know how deep
Wanna know how rich
Wanna know how sweet
Your love
Jesus, Your love
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Day Four
Today Jason and I decided to write a song together. Enjoy!
Never be the Same
Never said it would be easy
But You'd make the crooked paths straight
And You said there would be trials
But You'd make a way
You'd make a way
Here in this moment, I don't know what to do
So I'm holding on to this hope I have in You
I will run to You
(You never change)
I will hide myself in You
(You're the safest place)
Your love has chased the fear away
I'll never be the same
Never be the Same
Never said it would be easy
But You'd make the crooked paths straight
And You said there would be trials
But You'd make a way
You'd make a way
Here in this moment, I don't know what to do
So I'm holding on to this hope I have in You
I will run to You
(You never change)
I will hide myself in You
(You're the safest place)
Your love has chased the fear away
I'll never be the same
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Day Three
If you know me at all, you may have seen this coming . . . a praise song for kids! This idea was inspired by Elsie, who actually sang/shout out, "Turn around, turn around, jump, jump, jump!" a few days ago. Here it is:
Turn Around (Jump Jump Jump For You)
I believe that You are good all the time
I can count on Your love
I've heard You say your dreams for me are so, so big
I'm not afraid, You live in me
When I think about my God it
Makes me want to
Turn around, turn around and jump, jump, jump for joy
Wanna clap, clap, clap and shout Your name out loud
Wave my hands in the air and do a crazy dance
Turn around, turn around and jump, jump, jump for You
When I think about my God
When I think of who You are
When I think about my God it
Makes me want to
Turn Around (Jump Jump Jump For You)
I believe that You are good all the time
I can count on Your love
I've heard You say your dreams for me are so, so big
I'm not afraid, You live in me
When I think about my God it
Makes me want to
Turn around, turn around and jump, jump, jump for joy
Wanna clap, clap, clap and shout Your name out loud
Wave my hands in the air and do a crazy dance
Turn around, turn around and jump, jump, jump for You
When I think about my God
When I think of who You are
When I think about my God it
Makes me want to
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Monday, April 25, 2011
Day One
I'm doing a 5in5 hosted by my friend, Dan. Five songs in five days, Baby! Here's song one.
Believe
Abraham decided he would trust You
Even though he had no earthly reason
Against all hope, in hope he believed
And received a promise greater than he'd seen
Lord I wanna believe
Even when I don't have answers
I wanna believe
Though I can't see it today
Wanna hold fast to hope
'Cause I know that You are faithful
Wanna believe for things
Greater than I've seen
Believe
Abraham decided he would trust You
Even though he had no earthly reason
Against all hope, in hope he believed
And received a promise greater than he'd seen
Lord I wanna believe
Even when I don't have answers
I wanna believe
Though I can't see it today
Wanna hold fast to hope
'Cause I know that You are faithful
Wanna believe for things
Greater than I've seen
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Object Permanence
I played peek-a-boo with Maureen today. They say it's good for babies, all that peeking and booing. Well, maybe more the peeking than booing. It's supposed to teach them a concept called object permanence, meaning that just because you can't see something doesn't mean it's not there. For adults, that translates into the wind, atoms and molecules, or you know -- the keys you left on the crowded counter.But for babies, it just means Mom's still here. Look, Ree, I'm right here. I was just behind my hands for a minute. But now I'm back. When you play peek-a-boo with your babies, you're helping them to understand that when you lay them down for a nap, you might still be in the house. (Or you might be on a date. But you'll still be back at some point.) This in turn, helps them transition to time spent at a friend's house or in the church nursery. Mom's not here now, but she's coming back.
And while I was playing I thought about how God has object permanence. I think it takes Him longer to teach us this one that it takes us to teach our babies. Some days we can be fairly convinced that He is not around (because OBVIOUSLY things would not have turned out this way if He was).
Now, I'm not suggesting that God is up there playing games with us in our darkest hour, merely hiding behind His hands while we cry out. What I'm saying is, sometimes we let other things get in the way of us seeing how God could be in our situation. Could speak to us in our situation. Could move and change our situation. We think He's not there.
But wait for it ... wait for it ...
Monday, March 21, 2011
Here's to the straight paths.
We never know what a year will bring, do we? I tend to think of myself as generally optimistic, but sometimes life throws you some lemons. And you can make all the jokes you want about throwing the lemons back and demanding chocolate . . . some days you don't have the strength for that.
This last year I had had some good sized lemons tossed in my lap, and it was hard not to ask why. Why God, why? Seriously? This is how things are going to be? This is in my story now?
I know that why can be a dangerous question to ask, especially when you're thinking with your emotions. But sometimes I couldn't help but ask anyway.
One particularly hard, teary night, I asked why and flipped through my Bible. I was not looking for answers really. Just comfort. Just something to soothe the ache. And I found this:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones. (Proverbs 3:5-8 NIV)
I think it was the words "health" and "nourishment" that stopped me first. I wanted healing in my soul more than anything else in that moment. So I read it again.
All the whys I'd been asking . . . that was me trying to lean on my own understanding, wasn't it? I wanted an answer, something to understand, a reason for why things happen the way they do. That way, I could make sure it would never happen again. I wanted to never hurt like this again.
If I found an answer, I would be wise in my own eyes, but it would not bring the healing that I wanted. Only fearing the Lord can do that. Only trusting HIM. My own understanding wouldn't hold me up.
I read it over and over, trying to lock those words with their new meaning into my heart. You know what else I found? God doesn't promise us straight paths in this verse. He doesn't say, "Trust me and all your paths will be straight." He says when we acknowledge him, He will take the make our paths straight. He will take the crooked, bumpy path we're on, and make it straight.
Amen and amen.
This last year I had had some good sized lemons tossed in my lap, and it was hard not to ask why. Why God, why? Seriously? This is how things are going to be? This is in my story now?
I know that why can be a dangerous question to ask, especially when you're thinking with your emotions. But sometimes I couldn't help but ask anyway.
One particularly hard, teary night, I asked why and flipped through my Bible. I was not looking for answers really. Just comfort. Just something to soothe the ache. And I found this:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones. (Proverbs 3:5-8 NIV)
I think it was the words "health" and "nourishment" that stopped me first. I wanted healing in my soul more than anything else in that moment. So I read it again.
All the whys I'd been asking . . . that was me trying to lean on my own understanding, wasn't it? I wanted an answer, something to understand, a reason for why things happen the way they do. That way, I could make sure it would never happen again. I wanted to never hurt like this again.
If I found an answer, I would be wise in my own eyes, but it would not bring the healing that I wanted. Only fearing the Lord can do that. Only trusting HIM. My own understanding wouldn't hold me up.
I read it over and over, trying to lock those words with their new meaning into my heart. You know what else I found? God doesn't promise us straight paths in this verse. He doesn't say, "Trust me and all your paths will be straight." He says when we acknowledge him, He will take the make our paths straight. He will take the crooked, bumpy path we're on, and make it straight.
Amen and amen.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Image
I love it when people tell me that one of my daughters looks like me.
When Natalie was born, we thought she bore a strong resemblance to Jason, and most people agreed. His nose, his eyes, his forehead, his ears. I didn't mind. I (obviously) find Jason extremely attractive. So when Jason's step-mom asked me if I minded that Natalie looked so much like him, I said, "How can I when she's so cute?"
Now that Natalie's five, I get a lot more comments about her looking like me. At first, I didn't believe them. I thought, "That's strange. Must be the glasses. Because she's always looked like Jason." But I've gotten so many comments now, and I've come to realize I like it.
Now Elsie -- she has golden blonde hair, blue eyes . . . so different from my dark hair and eyes. But she looks like my sister, which means she must get her looks from me, right?
When Jason and I were in the hospital, and Maureen was just a day old, he looked at her and said, "You know, I think she's gonna look like you. Something about her . . . I don't know, I just think that she's going to end up looking like you -- more so than the other girls." And boy, you know I've latched on to that. I looked at her today, finding all the things about her that she may have gotten from me. I was so proud.
It's funny. I didn't like my looks for a long time when I was growing up. But now I'm wishing them on all of my girls. I think it's a natural desire in parents, to have a little someone that looks like them. Maybe it's because we're all created in Someone Else's image to begin with.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Reasons I love having little girls.
1. They can sing "Sisters" from White Christmas.
2. Friends for life. A sales clerk saw me in the store with the girls the other day and she said that she has three daughters and she tells them, "I've given you automatic friends." Indeed.
3. Ponytails and braids.
4. Mermaids and fairies.
5. Tiaras and make-up.
6. Unicorns and glitter (!)
7. Watching small girls carry your purse around is too fun.
8. Playing house with babies.
9. Tea parties.
10. Every Sunday is like playing dress up with my three favorite dolls.
If you have girls, what are some of your favorite things? If you have boys, I'd love to hear the list you're keeping, too!
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
In which, we meet Maureen.
Well. I've taken a very long break from posting, but allow me to make my way back into blogging by introducing you to someone.
For those of you who love the stats, Maureen Nicole was born October 16, at 3:04pm and was 7 lbs 11.5 oz, and 20.5 inches long. Maureen means "wished-for child" or "great", and Nicole means "victory of the people" or "victorious people," all of which seem appropriate.
I love this pic. Maureen in her "Little Sister" shirt, between her two sisters whose shirts say, "Big Sister."
Maureen is sweet and kissable. She brings something special to our family already.
Somehow, I really thought we would have a girl again, even before we saw the gender through ultrasound. After the ultrasound, strangers would see my pregnant belly while I pushed my other two daughters in a cart through the store and ask if we knew what we were having. And when I said that the doctor thought it was another girl (with a big smile on my face), they would say things like, "Oh no! Maybe next time," or even apologize. They always walked away quickly after that, which is probably good because I was annoyed. I was very much NOT sorry to be having another daughter.
Jason bought this shirt in Jericho for Maureen when she was about 9 weeks gestation. It says, "God did a great work here."
I think it would be great if we had a boy someday, but I am so glad we have Maureen. She is perfect for our family. I don't know how to explain it, but when I look at her, I know I could have all girls and be completely satisfied.
It helps that she's adorable and has a great smile.
And so, Maureen has completely stolen our hearts. People look at her and say that they don't know who she looks like, but she definitely belongs to us. And I love that. I love that she's with us, that she's part of us. I can't wait to find out more of who she is.
I love you Baby Girl!
For those of you who love the stats, Maureen Nicole was born October 16, at 3:04pm and was 7 lbs 11.5 oz, and 20.5 inches long. Maureen means "wished-for child" or "great", and Nicole means "victory of the people" or "victorious people," all of which seem appropriate.
I love this pic. Maureen in her "Little Sister" shirt, between her two sisters whose shirts say, "Big Sister."Maureen is sweet and kissable. She brings something special to our family already.
Somehow, I really thought we would have a girl again, even before we saw the gender through ultrasound. After the ultrasound, strangers would see my pregnant belly while I pushed my other two daughters in a cart through the store and ask if we knew what we were having. And when I said that the doctor thought it was another girl (with a big smile on my face), they would say things like, "Oh no! Maybe next time," or even apologize. They always walked away quickly after that, which is probably good because I was annoyed. I was very much NOT sorry to be having another daughter.
Jason bought this shirt in Jericho for Maureen when she was about 9 weeks gestation. It says, "God did a great work here."I think it would be great if we had a boy someday, but I am so glad we have Maureen. She is perfect for our family. I don't know how to explain it, but when I look at her, I know I could have all girls and be completely satisfied.
It helps that she's adorable and has a great smile. And so, Maureen has completely stolen our hearts. People look at her and say that they don't know who she looks like, but she definitely belongs to us. And I love that. I love that she's with us, that she's part of us. I can't wait to find out more of who she is.
I love you Baby Girl!
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Attitude
This Sunday our guest speaker read a quote that ended with:
"Attitude is the librarian of our past, the speaker of our present, and the prophet of our future."
Don't you like that? At first I was just struck with the prophet part. It took me a minute to figure out the librarian part.
Librarian of the past -- To me, this means "the librarian" determines how we look those old circumstances, broken relationships, and painful times. "The librarian" picks out the books that shape our opinion of these things.
Speaker of the present -- The other day I was leaving Sam's Club and asked the clerk at the door how he was doing. This elderly man paused, gave me a smile, and said, "Oh . . . I'm just so glad to be here." Now, if a twenty-something had said that, I would have looked hard to see if he was being sarcastic, but this man was sincere. His response made me smile. His attitude spoke volumes.
Prophet of the future -- You probably know pretty much what I'm going to say here. You don't reach the stars by looking at the ground. Perspective of what things will be like, regardless of their current state, is invaluable.
Wanna know what I really like about this quote? I have a say in all this. If the librarian of my past is a grumpy, pitiful thing, I can fire her and hire someone cute and cheerful. If I don't like what the speaker of my present is saying, I can change the channel until I find someone who better represents who I want to be. And if the prophet of my future is tempted to predict gloom and doom, I can . . . I don't know, read the New Testament or something.
Because -- I am all these people. The attitude is up to me.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Do I love you because you're wonderful? Or are you wonderful because I love you?
Last week Jason took me to the symphony. The Wyoming Symphony Orchestra was playing at the college, and Jason had to go to a concert and write a paper for one of his music classes, so I got to tag along. And let me just say, it THRILLED. MY. SOUL. For many reasons that I'm sure you could guess, and for a few that maybe you wouldn't. But during intermission I turned to Jason and said, "Isn't it amazing how so many things could be going on at once? I think it's so great just to get a good melody, but who gets a melody and then hears all these other things going on in the background that will add to the overall effect?"
And just as I finished the question, I knew the truth of what Jason said next. He said, "I do."
Do you ever stand in awe of the privilege of not just knowing your husband but actually being the one who got to marry him?
And just as I finished the question, I knew the truth of what Jason said next. He said, "I do."
Do you ever stand in awe of the privilege of not just knowing your husband but actually being the one who got to marry him?
Monday, September 13, 2010
When I looked it up in the dictionary I saw your picture.
About a month ago I went through my typical Mommy-and-Daddy-are-both-on-worship-team-today routine. I woke up at 5, so I could be ready by 6, so I could get the girls ready and we could all be at the church by 7 (or pretty close to it, anyway). Jason and I had picked out and ironed our clothes the night before, and I had set out the girls' dresses. I was in the kitchen, packing up breakfast for the kids to eat during worship team practice. I had hard-boiled four eggs, packed two baggies of cereal, put grapes in two bowls that have lids, tucked two packages of fruit snacks into a small pouch of the diaper bag (for a snack in between the two services we hold), and was pouring water into two water bottles. Sometimes, depending on what we are doing after church, I will also pack an extra change of clothes for all of us (and maybe swimming suits and sunscreen for the girls). And the thought came to me ..."This is ridiculous."
Now, it's not really ridiculous, because all that prep work makes the morning go more smoothly, and all that food is needed because my girls are getting up earlier than they usually do, and eating lunch 2-3 hours later than they usually do on Sundays like these. But suddenly the thought of adding one more small person to that -- oh man. But then I realized what was really going on here.
I ... am amazing.
Yes. It's really true, I've come to see. But I don't say this to you as a way of patting myself on the back. I say this because if you are a mom, you are amazing, too. Just take a look at everything you do. Make dinner nearly every night of the year. Keep tabs on everyone's underwear and socks so you know when you absolutely have to do laundry today. Find the missing shoe that no one else knew where to look for. Keep your temper with your children when you want to be given over to fits of rage. Teach those small people running around your house how to do productive things like clean their rooms, or tie their shoes, or say sorry with the nice voice, when most of the time they don't want to learn how to do those things at all. You pray for your husbands and support them. You let them go out with the guys while you fix dinner, give bathes, and put the kids to bed alone. And you smile about it, because you know he will come home a happier man, and you don't really begrudge him that time anyway (too much).
So, good for you! Take a look at yourself -- you do amazing things everyday. And even though you do them everyday, you don't quit. You keep giving and loving -- something that is truly amazing.
Monday, August 30, 2010
My problem is I want it all.
I have a friend who cloth diapers her babies. She knows all the new tricks and is making converts on facebook. I've been reading all her tips, and talked to Jason about it a few times. I like the idea of being green, and of saving a landfill from more diapers that will just sit for 7, 000 years. I really, really like the idea of saving money. I mean, this is child #3, here. But when I talked to Jason, he said, "I don't know. If I were you I wouldn't do it. You're going to have enough to do without keeping up with cloth diapers."
And really, he was telling me what I already knew was true. Especially about me. Let's review the facts:
1. According to my previous records, when a new baby comes, laundry is the first thing to go down. Yep -- add a person, neglect the laundry. Makes sense, right? But truly, this has been the way of it. And cloth diapers = even more laundry. How can I be sure I'm going to get diapers washed every day if I'm not even sure I'm going to remember to wash everyone else's underwear? And while Jason is more than willing to help out with the laundry, I'm not sure it's fair to make him have to remember to keep up on cloth diapers when I'm the one who wanted to use them.
2. I'm homeschooling a child for the first time. We've decided to teach Natalie at home. I taught first grade for two years before she was born, so I feel confident that I can do it. But it's not the same as having a job where you leave home and only work with one age group. I have a kindergartener and a two year old. I teach while I'm at home. The day goes something like this: Bible, take Elsie to the bathroom, Spelling, recess (while I start a load of laundry), give them snack, wish that dirty dishes weren't staring at me, water the lawn because we'll be gone that night, Reading, take Elsie to time out for ______, Math, you get the idea. All this means I have no idea how I'm going to add a newborn to this schedule, and yet, the baby will often preempt the schedule.
3. I have a two year old. And I don't want her to feel lost in the shuffle. Big sister will get lots of attention because of school, baby will get lots of attention because she's a newborn. Little/new big Sis will need lots of attention, too. Well, and also, because she's two. Not giving a two year old attention sounds like a disasterous thing, if you know what I mean.
And so, I'll be using disposable diapers. And I'm a little sad. I probably should be relieved that I have excuses, but I liked the idea of it. And this makes me realize one important thing about myself: I want to do it all.
I mean, last night on the way home from a weekend getaway with my husband I was thinking about how Natalie wanted to be Ariel this year for Halloween, and how I'd been planning on making an Ariel costume for her. Ok -- that right there is craziness. I do, in fact, own a sewing machine thanks to my grandmother, but it's still in the box. I've had it for months. Do you know the last time I sat down to a sewing machine? Seventh grade Home Ec. Do you know the first time I sat down to a sewing machine? Seventh grade Home Ec. Now, in my mind I figure it can't be too complicated to make a simple shirt and a tail that Natalie's legs will stick through. Maybe not perfect, but passable. When I'm being realistic I wonder if it will turn out like my cupcakes. And if I'm setting Natalie and myself up for disappointment (if I finish it at all).
But there I was, in that car, really thinking I could teach school, have a baby in October, and sew a mermaid costume if I got started on it right away. Then, after a reality check, I wondered if she would be ok with being Ariel as a human. We have a pink princess dress, and I could still use that fake hair color spray to turn her hair red. I figured Elsie could go as Belle, since the little yellow dress we have would probably fit her (it doesn't fit Natalie anymore). Um, but both of those dresses would require a sewing repairs. One would require a new zipper. I have never sewn on a zipper. Surely I could find a youtube video or google it or something.
Do you see how crazy this is? How I go back and forth? Do you know what is most likely to happen? Most likely, I will publish this post and then forget about Halloween until mid-October. I will then either stress myself out with dress repairs while my house looks like the Salvation Army blew up inside it, or I will find some simple solution (uh... headbands with paper ears taped to it? We could be the three bears...) and feel like a lame mom.
You see, this is why I cannot cloth diaper. If I'm going to spend the money up front I have to stick with it. There will be no turning back. And as much as I sometimes aspire to be a supermom, I can only do so many things well.
And really, he was telling me what I already knew was true. Especially about me. Let's review the facts:
1. According to my previous records, when a new baby comes, laundry is the first thing to go down. Yep -- add a person, neglect the laundry. Makes sense, right? But truly, this has been the way of it. And cloth diapers = even more laundry. How can I be sure I'm going to get diapers washed every day if I'm not even sure I'm going to remember to wash everyone else's underwear? And while Jason is more than willing to help out with the laundry, I'm not sure it's fair to make him have to remember to keep up on cloth diapers when I'm the one who wanted to use them.
2. I'm homeschooling a child for the first time. We've decided to teach Natalie at home. I taught first grade for two years before she was born, so I feel confident that I can do it. But it's not the same as having a job where you leave home and only work with one age group. I have a kindergartener and a two year old. I teach while I'm at home. The day goes something like this: Bible, take Elsie to the bathroom, Spelling, recess (while I start a load of laundry), give them snack, wish that dirty dishes weren't staring at me, water the lawn because we'll be gone that night, Reading, take Elsie to time out for ______, Math, you get the idea. All this means I have no idea how I'm going to add a newborn to this schedule, and yet, the baby will often preempt the schedule.
3. I have a two year old. And I don't want her to feel lost in the shuffle. Big sister will get lots of attention because of school, baby will get lots of attention because she's a newborn. Little/new big Sis will need lots of attention, too. Well, and also, because she's two. Not giving a two year old attention sounds like a disasterous thing, if you know what I mean.
And so, I'll be using disposable diapers. And I'm a little sad. I probably should be relieved that I have excuses, but I liked the idea of it. And this makes me realize one important thing about myself: I want to do it all.
I mean, last night on the way home from a weekend getaway with my husband I was thinking about how Natalie wanted to be Ariel this year for Halloween, and how I'd been planning on making an Ariel costume for her. Ok -- that right there is craziness. I do, in fact, own a sewing machine thanks to my grandmother, but it's still in the box. I've had it for months. Do you know the last time I sat down to a sewing machine? Seventh grade Home Ec. Do you know the first time I sat down to a sewing machine? Seventh grade Home Ec. Now, in my mind I figure it can't be too complicated to make a simple shirt and a tail that Natalie's legs will stick through. Maybe not perfect, but passable. When I'm being realistic I wonder if it will turn out like my cupcakes. And if I'm setting Natalie and myself up for disappointment (if I finish it at all).
But there I was, in that car, really thinking I could teach school, have a baby in October, and sew a mermaid costume if I got started on it right away. Then, after a reality check, I wondered if she would be ok with being Ariel as a human. We have a pink princess dress, and I could still use that fake hair color spray to turn her hair red. I figured Elsie could go as Belle, since the little yellow dress we have would probably fit her (it doesn't fit Natalie anymore). Um, but both of those dresses would require a sewing repairs. One would require a new zipper. I have never sewn on a zipper. Surely I could find a youtube video or google it or something.
Do you see how crazy this is? How I go back and forth? Do you know what is most likely to happen? Most likely, I will publish this post and then forget about Halloween until mid-October. I will then either stress myself out with dress repairs while my house looks like the Salvation Army blew up inside it, or I will find some simple solution (uh... headbands with paper ears taped to it? We could be the three bears...) and feel like a lame mom.
You see, this is why I cannot cloth diaper. If I'm going to spend the money up front I have to stick with it. There will be no turning back. And as much as I sometimes aspire to be a supermom, I can only do so many things well.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Not hiding.
The other day, I asked Natalie to get something for me. I told her that it was on the side table next to the couch. She told me that she couldn't find it.
"It's on that little table right there, next to the couch."
"Oh," she said, picking up the requested item. "You were hiding it from me."
"Well, I wasn't trying to hide it from you!"
Sometimes I wonder if God thinks that very thing. We moan about how hard it is to find an answer, or to find Him, and all the while He's speaking to us (or just not saying anything different from what He said the first time). I can see Him laughing, just like I did.
I'm not trying to hide it from you!
"It's on that little table right there, next to the couch."
"Oh," she said, picking up the requested item. "You were hiding it from me."
"Well, I wasn't trying to hide it from you!"
Sometimes I wonder if God thinks that very thing. We moan about how hard it is to find an answer, or to find Him, and all the while He's speaking to us (or just not saying anything different from what He said the first time). I can see Him laughing, just like I did.
I'm not trying to hide it from you!
Monday, August 9, 2010
The answer.
So a few days after I was feeling sorry for Natalie at the parade, I felt sorry for Elsie about something similar. And then sorry for Natalie over something else. And I felt like God asked me, "Are you going to keep feeling sad about things and have a victim mentality? Is that what you want to pass on to your children?"
And I decided to say, "No, thank you. I think I'll pass on that."
It's so true that you can never determine what other people will do, or the effect in circumstances that decision might have on you, but you are always in control of what you do. Sometimes I wish I had control over what other people did, but that's not true power. True power is taking control of your own life, actions, emotions, and words by making purposeful decisions. It's funny to say that when life hands you lemons you're going to throw them back and demand chocolate, but that's just shaking your fist at the wind. I think it is probably much better to take something sour in your life and turn it into something sweet. Like lemonade, you might never be able to completely erase the tartness, but the taste of the end result can still be memorable and enjoyable.
Hopefully, this happened for Natalie. When we got home she told Jason about the parade, and was angry about the pushy kids who got all the candy. Jason, being removed from the situation, was in a much better frame of mind than I was, and suggested that she forgive those kids. He led her in a prayer where she spoke forgiveness to them, and she hasn't mentioned it or complained about how little candy she got since then. I think she really let a spirit of forgiveness take root in her heart, instead of bitterness.
Jason and I drove home from a family reunion Saturday night, and I started tearing up. Not everything in his life has been perfect, of course, and sometimes he experienced deep hurt, like when his parents divorced. But out of that situation, Jason's mother decided to move to Wyoming, where Jason worked with a girl who decided to tell him what Jesus was really like. Because of that, Jason decided to give his life to Jesus and attend a homegroup. Then he decided to go to Bible College and meet me. And marry me. And move to Wyoming where the leader of that homegroup is a leader in our church. A lot of God's goodness was evident to me in that moment, and it was overwhelming.
If I really believe that God works all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose, and I really believe that His forgiveness has the power to change lives -- when I am forgiven, and when I choose to forgive -- then hurt will have no place within me.
And I decided to say, "No, thank you. I think I'll pass on that."
It's so true that you can never determine what other people will do, or the effect in circumstances that decision might have on you, but you are always in control of what you do. Sometimes I wish I had control over what other people did, but that's not true power. True power is taking control of your own life, actions, emotions, and words by making purposeful decisions. It's funny to say that when life hands you lemons you're going to throw them back and demand chocolate, but that's just shaking your fist at the wind. I think it is probably much better to take something sour in your life and turn it into something sweet. Like lemonade, you might never be able to completely erase the tartness, but the taste of the end result can still be memorable and enjoyable.
Hopefully, this happened for Natalie. When we got home she told Jason about the parade, and was angry about the pushy kids who got all the candy. Jason, being removed from the situation, was in a much better frame of mind than I was, and suggested that she forgive those kids. He led her in a prayer where she spoke forgiveness to them, and she hasn't mentioned it or complained about how little candy she got since then. I think she really let a spirit of forgiveness take root in her heart, instead of bitterness.
Jason and I drove home from a family reunion Saturday night, and I started tearing up. Not everything in his life has been perfect, of course, and sometimes he experienced deep hurt, like when his parents divorced. But out of that situation, Jason's mother decided to move to Wyoming, where Jason worked with a girl who decided to tell him what Jesus was really like. Because of that, Jason decided to give his life to Jesus and attend a homegroup. Then he decided to go to Bible College and meet me. And marry me. And move to Wyoming where the leader of that homegroup is a leader in our church. A lot of God's goodness was evident to me in that moment, and it was overwhelming.
If I really believe that God works all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose, and I really believe that His forgiveness has the power to change lives -- when I am forgiven, and when I choose to forgive -- then hurt will have no place within me.
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