Day Two

Here's my song for today:

Happy Birthday Me (I'm getting older)

Day One

I'm doing a 5in5 hosted by my friend, Dan. Five songs in five days, Baby! Here's song one.

Believe

Abraham decided he would trust You
Even though he had no earthly reason
Against all hope, in hope he believed
And received a promise greater than he'd seen

Lord I wanna believe
Even when I don't have answers
I wanna believe
Though I can't see it today
Wanna hold fast to hope
'Cause I know that You are faithful
Wanna believe for things
Greater than I've seen

Object Permanence

I played peek-a-boo with Maureen today. They say it's good for babies, all that peeking and booing. Well, maybe more the peeking than booing. It's supposed to teach them a concept called object permanence, meaning that just because you can't see something doesn't mean it's not there. For adults, that translates into the wind, atoms and molecules, or you know -- the keys you left on the crowded counter.

But for babies, it just means Mom's still here. Look, Ree, I'm right here. I was just behind my hands for a minute. But now I'm back. When you play peek-a-boo with your babies, you're helping them to understand that when you lay them down for a nap, you might still be in the house. (Or you might be on a date. But you'll still be back at some point.) This in turn, helps them transition to time spent at a friend's house or in the church nursery. Mom's not here now, but she's coming back.

And while I was playing I thought about how God has object permanence. I think it takes Him longer to teach us this one that it takes us to teach our babies. Some days we can be fairly convinced that He is not around (because OBVIOUSLY things would not have turned out this way if He was).
Now, I'm not suggesting that God is up there playing games with us in our darkest hour, merely hiding behind His hands while we cry out. What I'm saying is, sometimes we let other things get in the way of us seeing how God could be in our situation. Could speak to us in our situation. Could move and change our situation. We think He's not there.

But wait for it ... wait for it ...

Here's to the straight paths.

We never know what a year will bring, do we? I tend to think of myself as generally optimistic, but sometimes life throws you some lemons. And you can make all the jokes you want about throwing the lemons back and demanding chocolate . . . some days you don't have the strength for that.

This last year I had had some good sized lemons tossed in my lap, and it was hard not to ask why. Why God, why? Seriously? This is how things are going to be? This is in my story now?
I know that why can be a dangerous question to ask, especially when you're thinking with your emotions. But sometimes I couldn't help but ask anyway.

One particularly hard, teary night, I asked why and flipped through my Bible. I was not looking for answers really. Just comfort. Just something to soothe the ache. And I found this:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones. (Proverbs 3:5-8 NIV)

I think it was the words "health" and "nourishment" that stopped me first. I wanted healing in my soul more than anything else in that moment. So I read it again.

All the whys I'd been asking . . . that was me trying to lean on my own understanding, wasn't it? I wanted an answer, something to understand, a reason for why things happen the way they do. That way, I could make sure it would never happen again. I wanted to never hurt like this again.

If I found an answer, I would be wise in my own eyes, but it would not bring the healing that I wanted. Only fearing the Lord can do that. Only trusting HIM. My own understanding wouldn't hold me up.

I read it over and over, trying to lock those words with their new meaning into my heart. You know what else I found? God doesn't promise us straight paths in this verse. He doesn't say, "Trust me and all your paths will be straight." He says when we acknowledge him, He will take the make our paths straight. He will take the crooked, bumpy path we're on, and make it straight.

Amen and amen.

Image

I love it when people tell me that one of my daughters looks like me.

When Natalie was born, we thought she bore a strong resemblance to Jason, and most people agreed. His nose, his eyes, his forehead, his ears. I didn't mind. I (obviously) find Jason extremely attractive. So when Jason's step-mom asked me if I minded that Natalie looked so much like him, I said, "How can I when she's so cute?"
Now that Natalie's five, I get a lot more comments about her looking like me. At first, I didn't believe them. I thought, "That's strange. Must be the glasses. Because she's always looked like Jason." But I've gotten so many comments now, and I've come to realize I like it.

Now Elsie -- she has golden blonde hair, blue eyes . . . so different from my dark hair and eyes. But she looks like my sister, which means she must get her looks from me, right?

When Jason and I were in the hospital, and Maureen was just a day old, he looked at her and said, "You know, I think she's gonna look like you. Something about her . . . I don't know, I just think that she's going to end up looking like you -- more so than the other girls." And boy, you know I've latched on to that. I looked at her today, finding all the things about her that she may have gotten from me. I was so proud.

It's funny. I didn't like my looks for a long time when I was growing up. But now I'm wishing them on all of my girls. I think it's a natural desire in parents, to have a little someone that looks like them. Maybe it's because we're all created in Someone Else's image to begin with.

Reasons I love having little girls.

1. They can sing "Sisters" from White Christmas.

2. Friends for life. A sales clerk saw me in the store with the girls the other day and she said that she has three daughters and she tells them, "I've given you automatic friends." Indeed.

3. Ponytails and braids.

4. Mermaids and fairies.

5. Tiaras and make-up.

6. Unicorns and glitter (!)

7. Watching small girls carry your purse around is too fun.

8. Playing house with babies.

9. Tea parties.

10. Every Sunday is like playing dress up with my three favorite dolls.

If you have girls, what are some of your favorite things? If you have boys, I'd love to hear the list you're keeping, too!

In which, we meet Maureen.

Well. I've taken a very long break from posting, but allow me to make my way back into blogging by introducing you to someone.


For those of you who love the stats, Maureen Nicole was born October 16, at 3:04pm and was 7 lbs 11.5 oz, and 20.5 inches long. Maureen means "wished-for child" or "great", and Nicole means "victory of the people" or "victorious people," all of which seem appropriate.

I love this pic. Maureen in her "Little Sister" shirt, between her two sisters whose shirts say, "Big Sister."

Maureen is sweet and kissable. She brings something special to our family already.

Somehow, I really thought we would have a girl again, even before we saw the gender through ultrasound. After the ultrasound, strangers would see my pregnant belly while I pushed my other two daughters in a cart through the store and ask if we knew what we were having. And when I said that the doctor thought it was another girl (with a big smile on my face), they would say things like, "Oh no! Maybe next time," or even apologize. They always walked away quickly after that, which is probably good because I was annoyed. I was very much NOT sorry to be having another daughter.

Jason bought this shirt in Jericho for Maureen when she was about 9 weeks gestation. It says, "God did a great work here."

I think it would be great if we had a boy someday, but I am so glad we have Maureen. She is perfect for our family. I don't know how to explain it, but when I look at her, I know I could have all girls and be completely satisfied.

It helps that she's adorable and has a great smile.

And so, Maureen has completely stolen our hearts. People look at her and say that they don't know who she looks like, but she definitely belongs to us. And I love that. I love that she's with us, that she's part of us. I can't wait to find out more of who she is.


I love you Baby Girl!

Well. I've taken a very long break from posting, but I'll give you lots of pictures to try to make up. For those of you who love the stats, Maureen Nicole was born October 16, at 3:04pm and was 7 lbs 11.5 oz, and 20.5 inches long. Maureen means "wished-for child" or "great", and Nicole means "victory of the people" or "victorious people," all of which seemed appropriate. And now I would like to present, for your reading enjoyment: Why I Love Being the Mommy of Three Girls - I've always liked pink and purple - Every Sunday is like playing dress up with my three favorite dolls - They can sing "Sisters" from <span style="font-style: italic;">White Christmas</span> - Giggling and squealing - Female trios sound awesome - Rainbows, glitter, hearts, unicorns, sparkles, jewelry, princesses, fairies! - Headbands and piggy tails - Playing with make-up