My new favorite thought.

Jason and I watched part of "Much Ado About Nothing" the other night. This is a movie that gets my romantic feelings going. So maybe that was what started this morning's line of thinking. Or it could have been the dream I had about Kirk Cameron falling in love with his black slave back in the 1800's, although I don't know where that dream came from.
But this morning I sat down on my couch and thought, "God, what is it about women and romance? Why do we want to perpetually stay in that state of new love where we blush, and sigh, and stare into their eyes as if we could touch their soul?" ( "One hundred and fifty-two insights into my soul!" -- quick, what movie?)
Then I remembered something C. S. Lewis said, which I'll have to paraphrase. "If I find within myself a longing that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most logical conclusion is that I was not made for this world."
So, is that what heaven will be like? What if, when we stand before the One who is Love, will we eternally live out "new love"? Will we blush when He says to us intimately, "I love you. You know I would die for you."? Will we get tingles down our spine when He cups our face with His hands and lifts it up to His? When our eyes lock onto His, how will we do anything else but stare -- as if by staring we could know all of Him at once?

Saving Memories for you, Part 1.

Dear Natalie,
Your Auntie and I were talking a few months ago about how limited memory can be at your age. She was sad, because she wanted Kate and Halle to remember everything she'd done with them for the last four years. If I could lock some memories down for you from the last three years, here are some things I would choose:

1. "Mommy, I love you more than a conker (conquerer)." I tell you and Elsie at bedtime that you are more than conquerers. I guess I'll have to keep saying it for a few years before you understand what I mean, but until then, I don't mind you using the phrase this way!

2. I would have you remember how nice you are to Elsie. The way you love her, speak kindly to her, play with her, and entertain her so she won't cry is amazing to me. You are an awesome big sister, and an answer to prayer.

3. "I miss you today."

4. I would have you remember how great you are at sharing. You are excited about sharing toys with your friends, and you even share your candy with Daddy and me.

5. I would have you remember all the times we played with make-up and jewelry.

6. I would have you remember how you used to sit snuggled on my lap, drinking milk out of a sippy cup and twirling my hair with your fingers.

7. I would have you remember each and every spontanious song you have written. Especially, "Hold my hand, 'cause there's a car. Hold my hand, 'cause Mommy saw a car..."
Great things are coming out of you!

8. "Is this gluten-free?"

9. I would have you remember how full of life you are. You are so excited about all of your accomplishments, from jumping high to climbing on the bathroom counter. You are so excited about life, and I don't want you to ever lose that.

10. I would have you remember what a compassionate person you are. You are concerned about your friends, and have a helpful heart.

These do not nearly describe everything I would have you remember, but it's not a bad start. I'm so grateful for you Natalie Rhae! You truly are "God's gift of joy" to me!

"You're so ... punctual -- I mean, beautiful."

Isn't that hair awesome? Seriously, don't you wish you could make your hair do that? What you can't see is that there are lots of individual hairs that stand up even taller than the more prominant ones in this picture.

I love Elsie's hair. Some people poke fun at it, but I've told Jason that part of me will be sad when Elsie's hair lays flat on her head. It's been sticking up since she was a month old. For the last seven months, this has been her hair. I make a point to tell her how great it is.

My dad always used to tell me that I had great freckles. He used to pretend that he was kissing every single one (I have a lot). And you know, I've never wished away my freckles. I never thought they made me ugly or tried to find a special freckle-removing cream. I didn't think they were my best feature, but I was fine with their living arrangements. I'm convinced it's because of my dad, and how he pointed out and complimented something that others find unattractive.

As part of his message last Sunday, my pastor spoke about affirming others. We all have a need for affirmation, and all seek it, but we are not all good at giving it. I think sometimes the most memorable affirmations are concerning the little things, the things you don't usually get complimented on.

For example, I remember 2 years ago when someone came up and told me that I was a good mother. It's not that the "often heard" compliments aren't appreciated, but we all like to hear that someone is noticing the little things about us that make us great. That's a real knack, I think. Noticing, appreciating, and telling someone that you saw something that maybe not everyone sees. And you liked it.

That is my challenge to myself. To really look at others, and take note, and then -- when I see something admirable, to tell them. This is harder with people we have known for a long time, but not impossible. And something makes me believe that when we start speaking the good things we see in a person, that person will begin to believe good things about themselves, too.

"Daughtership" is ackward to say, but "sonship" feels too masculine.

This has been a very good season in our church. We've talked a lot about the love of the Father, and the difference between seeing Him through the eyes of a son or the eyes of an orphan. It's made me realize how much I still have to learn about being a daughter. It's funny, really. I'm a grown woman, married, with children. My own parents live two states away from me. I don't think about being a daughter on a daily basis -- maybe not even weekly. But there is so much that God is trying to teach me about being His daughter right now.
A few weeks ago I was rocking Elsie at bed time. She's at such a sweet stage. Just barely eight months old, full of smiles. She had her left thumb in her mouth, with her free fingers clasping her right hand as usual. Her eyes were locked on mine, like I was the only thing in the room. I usually put her down before she falls asleep, but that night I wanted to savor every second, and she fell asleep quickly. I became enchanted with her. I didn't want to put her down. I just wanted to look at her. God's so lucky, I thought. He gets to watch her all night long. And my next thought was, He gets to look at me all night long. Not just, yeah, God's watching me all night long because He's protecting me, or because it's a required duty of His. He wants to look at me all night long, the way I wanted to sit and stare at Elsie.
At prayer last Saturday, we had some discussion time about the Prodigal Son. Jason brought up the point that we think we have to grovel like the prodigal every time we mess up. But we're not prodigals, we are sons. We make mistakes, but we're sons. Tiffany said that the prodigal son had such a low expectation of the Father's affection and acceptance. I started thinking about what it would have really been like to have been the son in that story. To have blown it so bad that you thought your dad would only accept you in his house again as a slave. And then to have him run to you, fall on your neck and kiss you, and then heap honors upon you that you didn't deserve or expect. I can imagine that boy never questioned how his father felt about him again. Never again would he have low expectations of his father's love or acceptance of him. How could you feel insecure after such an experience?
Once I was the prodigal, but now I have been adopted. I was orphaned, but Father God has called me his daughter. He has given me the inheritance and rights of a firstborn son. He has heaped honors on me that I neither expected or deserved or imagined. Why then, should I have anything but the highest expectations of His affections and acceptance?
"Behold, what manner of love the Father has given unto us, that we should be called the sons of God! And that is what we are!"